Aftermath
by Scorpio's-Assassin
Summary: Neji is dead. Tenten, fighting against civil war in Konoha, deals with the shock, guilt, depression, and, ultimately, the realization. SasuTen
1. You Shouldn't Have

**_Aftermath Chapter 1_**

**Summary: Neji's dead. Tenten deals with the aftermath of his death.  
Author: Scorpio(for once)  
A/N:  
Well, I thought of this when the latest manga chapter came up and I cried. I slept at 12 because of this fic. I realized that nobody actually contemplated how life for Tenten would be without Neji. Warning: Lots of angst (In earlier chapters)**

* * *

_What?_

My mouth went dry. Everything slowed down.

There before me, was Neji, _Neji_, sprawled on the ground, a wood spike in his chest.

"Noooo!" I scream, deranged, mad, as I would probably look like to anybody watching, but I don't care. I rush forward, not caring about the bijuu, the wooden spikes, Hiashi, the battle, anything. I stop at his side, the tears already cascading down my face.

"Neji," I whisper. I look down at him. How could he go now? He was _the_ genius, _the_ prodigy. I wanted to hold him, to tell him—

"T-tenten," He murmurs. My hands shake.

"Neji?" The world goes blurry.

"Tenten…" He says softly. "Tenten…"

_"I love you."_

With those final words, his seal disappears. I feel nothing but pain. I hold him tightly, willing him to come back. This was not the time… Why? Why did you die? You were always there, steady and unbreakable, quiet and harsh—

_But I loved Neji._

I can finally know how Ino-Shika-Cho felt. How Sakura felt.

The loss of a loved one.

But, even they could not comprehend this. This was greater than a loss of a sensei. Team 7 might have lost Sasuke, but he was still alive. This…this…

This is war.

I look at Lee's tearful eyes, wide, unbelieving, no longer bright and sparkling. I look into Hiashi's eyes, no longer stoic and calm. I see all the sorrow and regret there.

A bird takes flight and is pierced by a spike.

I stand up. I take the dagger a few feet away. I ignore the noise of the bijuu, the screams, the sniffles from Hinata, the warnings that Uchiha Sasuke has been spotted.

I don't care. I am consumed with sadness and rage. I take the dagger, made for me and Neji.

You see, when we trained for two years, I didn't just sit around doing nothing. I made this.

It was just a normal dagger. Normal, of course, but with an extremely sharp point.

It was designed to penetrate the single blind spot at the back of the byakugan. It had a hollow canister inside it. Inside ran a metal tube that had several beads running along it. We had named it Hoshi, after the stars.

It was made for maximum accuracy. But I—

Nevermind. I push that thought away. I concentrate, tuning out all the background noise.

I stop my heart from beating. In order to maintain precision, I had to hold my arm steady.

I fling the dagger high up, where it winks like a star on the black sky.

I listen for the little clinking of the beads that tells me it is pointing downward.

And it speeds towards the bijuu and gorges out its eye.


	2. Guilt, Insomnia, and Cough Syrup

**A/N:  
This story is dedicated to 10ShizukaMistress10 who got me addicted to SasuTen.**

**Thanks to Gaaralover2247, Leia-san, Kilalahinanaruto555 and NarutoQueen for reviewing! Merry Christmas and God bless :)**

**Theme song for this chapter: James Blunt- So Far Gone**

* * *

I sit on the chair, waiting, watching.

It is the Commemoration Day today, held as a mini-funeral, when they honored the many ninja whom died in battle.

There is an assemble, sitting on plastic chairs. At the head of the place, there is a podium where the bodies of the ninja are placed before the old wizened random man, who stands before the crowds, who reads out their numerous achievements and how they died in battle. If the families of the dead needed any reminders.

I ignore the voice dully reciting the sad words.

When I was young I often felt that funerals were pointless. People kept crying, kept consoling each other. "They were nothing but sad gatherings," I had reasoned, "They should be banned!" But of course I didn't have any teachers, or parents for that matter.

I smile at my childishness. I had nobody except Team Gai… And—

"Neji Hyuuga was an honored ninja, the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan. He was-"

I don't listen. I turn my head towards the lake and concentrate on the surroundings.

A light wind skims across the lake, making light ripples in the water. I shiver and feel the chill creeping up my skin. The clouds are dreary and rumble uneasily in the sky. But it doesn't rain, as if the sky wants the torment of the sadness to continue.

Why? Why couldn't it stop? It was just so depressing. "I don't care!" I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream and jump out of my seat and run to some other god-forsaken place. I didn't want to cry.

But I knew that I still cared. I still loved Hyuuga Neji. But I could not, would not, allow myself to cry. I would be a strong kunoichi.

In desperation, I squeeze my hands together. But I feel a small pendant inside the palm of my hand.

I open my sweaty hands and look at it. It was just a small charm bracelet. Team Gai's charm bracelet.

* * *

**_Flashback_**

_Neji, Lee, would you come here please? It was the first time I had been late for training._

_"What is it Tenten?" Neji asked, irritation in his voice._

_I look at him, beaming. I hold the pendant up._

_"What is that Tenten?" Lee bounced over from the training ground with Gai-sensei behind him._

_"This is our team symbol!" I grinned. "See, the rings are interlocking. The jade one is Lee, the silver one is me, the opal one is you, and the gold setting is Gai-sensei!"_

_"I see that Tenten's youthfulness is overflowing! Lee, we should train more to increase our own youth!" Gai-sensei declared, giving us the good guy pose. _

_"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee roared, raising his fist in the air. The two sped off to do more training. I look at Neji._

_"Use your time for training instead of doing these useless things." He states bluntly before going off. "Don't be weak."_

_Fastening the chain around my neck, I growled. How dare he! I had worked for hours at the local jewelry shop for Uncle Tama to make it! He could just brush me off like swatting away a fly. Troublesome, as Shikamaru would say._

_I clench my fist. Hyuuga Neji, I do not believe that your byakugan has no weaknesses. _

_I am __**not**__ pathetic._

* * *

That was when I had found the fatal blind spot at the back of his neck. He asked me to keep it a secret. I smile at the memory. It was _the_ Hyuuga Neji not meeting, _the_ Hyuuga Neji getting down from his high horse, _the_ Hyuuga Neji learning respect. I like to think that I taught him respect than.

The funeral service has ended. I don't hear the sounds of the blowing noses, or the long, drawn out wails. I am completely consumed in thought of Team Gai. Us training, Gai-sensei screaming out about youth and training at one in the morning, Gai-sensei's endless discrimination about Neji's 'prodigy status' and Lee constantly challenging Neji to a fight.

I laugh and pick white lilies, twirling them into my buns out of habit.

That stops as soon I see a man who looks remarkably like Neji putting his hand on a violet-haired girl's shoulder, both crying at the foot of a grave.

_Neji's grave._

I stumble forward.

_He will never scold me again._

I place the white lilies at his grave and bury my head in my hands.

_He will never be there to comfort me and hug me again._

In the midst the tumult of my self-control and grief surging against each other, I feel someone put a hand on my shoulder. I look up.

I register his blurry face. Lee.

_Team Gai will never be whole again._

In between my fingers, I see Hinata look at me. "Tenten-chan…"

To a normal person, her look would have seemed normal. It was one of the kin of the dead, looking at the teammate of the dead with pity and sorrow. Sorrow, because they both had lost someone precious to them. Pity, because she knew that the loss was felt greater on the teammate's side. She had lost a member of the only family she had.

But to me, her gaze is more than that. It is full of accusation.

_"Why didn't you? Why didn't you protect Neji? Why did your ten over ten marksmanship fail?!"_

Of course, nobody would have noticed me. I was the background of the Konoha 11. But…

_"What happened?! If you had not failed, Neji would still be alive. This sadness, this grief is your whole entire fault!"_

I curl up into a ball and cry.

* * *

~~OXO~~

In the dim glow of the Konoha streetlamps, Lee walks me back home. We don't say anything. I walk fast, not meeting Lee's eyes, into the one-bedroom apartment I rent.

We were the last ones to leave Neji's grave.

"Sleep peacefully Tenten-chan." Lee says, before leaving. I get a good look at his tear streaks, his pale face, and drooping eyes. "Don't exert yourself too much."

I give him a nod of my head before shutting the door.

But I can't sleep. I am tormented by my happy memories of Team Gai.

_If you hadn't faltered, think of all the happiness we all would have. You are useless! You are weak, a complete failure… Neji was right about you!_

At about three in the morning, I force myself out of bed. I feel my way to the medicine cupboard and grab the bottle of cough syrup. I tip my head and chug it down like liquid morphine.

I put the bottle down. I already feel the drowsiness taking over. After hours of tossing and turning, there is complete relief.

I don't bother going back to bed. Instead, I lie there on the cold hard floor as unconsciousness begins to take over. Yes, sprawled like Neji—Neji, blood dripping from his mouth and with a wooden spike in his stomach, the fatal spike that I intercepted—

That could have been pushed away with Hoshi.


End file.
